Bad things happen to good bikes

Attempted theft and my battered blue beauty
Published November 20, 2011

Better years? Yes, there’ve been. Mighty and I didn’t make any epic journeys in 2011, but that’s hardly the worst the bike endured. It’s been a bad year for my motorcycle.

In March, some scumbag weaseled his way into the garage and tried to steal my bike. He failed, and I took some satisfaction knowing that the would-be thief is worthless at stealing motorcycles. The bike didn’t leave the garage, but the failed failure so severely damaged the ignition barrel that I couldn’t unlock the steering. That insurance claim was the first I’d ever filed. Now eight months later, I’ve filed a total of three.

No more than a week after coming home, the bike was on its way back to the shop. A minivan backed into my motorcycle, knocking it over onto a soiled, rainy street in the Sunset district of San Francisco. I found Mighty propped up on the curb and a quick survey revealed a smashed left fairing, broken indicators and rash to various hard bits on the left side. Gutted, furious, bewildered. I purposely park my bike such that knockovers should be impossible, but the minivan driver admitted fault despite my efforts and despite a rearview camera installed in the cage. The bike was rideable, all the way back to the shop.

I was ready to proclaim 2011 a bad year for the bike even before it suffered a second attempted theft last week, roughly eight months after the first. Same story: An incompetent sack of shit snuck into the garage and violated the ignition with a hammer and a screwdriver. I’m not a vengeful man, but I wouldn’t be bothered if the assault was reversed.

There’s only so much a doting owner can do to prevent heartache over his motorcycle. Comprehensive insurance is a must for a bike of any value in The City. As well, I’ve decided that I need to ride more. Conclusively, the motorcycle is safer with me on it than not.